by Jenny Downham
"Tessa has just a few months to live.
Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It's her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is sex.
Released from the constraints of 'normal' life, Tessa tastes new experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up.
Tessa's feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged mother, her best friend, her new boyfriend, all are painfully crystallized in the precious weeks before Tessa's time finally runs out.
BEFORE I DIE is a brilliantly-crafted novel, heartbreaking yet astonishingly life-affirming. It will take you to the very edge."
Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It's her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is sex.
Released from the constraints of 'normal' life, Tessa tastes new experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up.
Tessa's feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged mother, her best friend, her new boyfriend, all are painfully crystallized in the precious weeks before Tessa's time finally runs out.
BEFORE I DIE is a brilliantly-crafted novel, heartbreaking yet astonishingly life-affirming. It will take you to the very edge."
Before I Die was gritty and blunt; even pessimistic at times. Tessa has fully accepted her imminent death, and though this may have been empowering, it felt to me as if it was, instead, cynical and dark. Tessa's father did all he could to ensure his daughter was being looked after, and he was a foil character to Tessa in the way that he believed she could find a cure. He was the highlight of the story for me; a loyal character who hoped for the best.
I didn't enjoy reading about what Tessa did with her last few months, but perhaps that's because our values do not coincide. It felt depressing to me; and yes, that may be generally realistic, but I was looking for a redeeming factor. Tessa was able find peace eventually, and those moments were indeed uplifting and a pleasure to read, yet I found these to be sparse and limited.
I found myself lost, not knowing what to feel, for the story lost its sensibility for me in the shallowness of some of the actions taken. Though I see they were likely incorporated in order to communicate the idea of ephermerality and the lack of importance of things in general, they weren't very effective in this objective, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for me, as a reader, instead.
I didn't enjoy reading about what Tessa did with her last few months, but perhaps that's because our values do not coincide. It felt depressing to me; and yes, that may be generally realistic, but I was looking for a redeeming factor. Tessa was able find peace eventually, and those moments were indeed uplifting and a pleasure to read, yet I found these to be sparse and limited.
I found myself lost, not knowing what to feel, for the story lost its sensibility for me in the shallowness of some of the actions taken. Though I see they were likely incorporated in order to communicate the idea of ephermerality and the lack of importance of things in general, they weren't very effective in this objective, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for me, as a reader, instead.
2/5 stars.
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